Love and Marriage
- Tanya Griffin
- Oct 27
- 3 min read
This summer I walked my son down the aisle. It was a happy handoff to a woman who loves him madly. The day was magical. It was full of love and family and the excitement that comes as young love blossoms into a lifelong partnership.
While the institution of marriage has provided me with its own set of challenges, I wholeheartedly believe in LOVE.
The Times They Are A-Changin’
When I was coming into adulthood finding a husband was often declared among the top ranked “college degrees”. These days, statistically, my sons were lucky to lock down a good woman ready and willing to marry and raise a family.
Morgan Stanley estimates that 45% of U.S. working women between 25-45 years will be single and childless by 2030. This does not bear well for single men.
In the 80’s, when I was stumbling into adulthood, marriage was a foregone conclusion. It was a rite of passage that often came before sex. Then women prioritized landing a husband even though the responsibility for child care and housekeeping weighed most heavily and often solely on the “wife”.
Then, men made at least 25% more pay for equal work, they were assumed to be the “primary bread winner” and deemed head of household by the IRS.
Today, "No Man, Need Apply".Women not only control the purse strings but often provide the primary income. They are perfectly capable and even culturally celebrated when flying solo.
What’s Love Got To Do With It?
Walking Isaac down the aisle to hand him off to Morgan was a ritual that suddenly made sense.
My daughter-in-laws are both strong and fearless. They are lionesses I know better than to cross. They love and protect my sons and growing families with intensity.
Isaac and Morgan have started with a kitten and a puppy. I am GiGi to my incredible grandkids.
Of our six kids the boys are now married. Of the remaining four, two have been in loving, committed “common law” relationships since high school and two continue to fish. I have been in and out of marriage and now wonder if it is not a young person's game crafted to build a family.
For me, loving my partner is a choice I make happily every day, then again and again and again.
Tanya’s Tips: Life will present countless challenges that may include raising kids and caring for aging parents. Remember to prioritize time and pleasure with your partner. When it seems impossible, find the time, even schedule it. By connecting physically you remind each other you are choosing them again and again.
My Dad’s Take on Love and Marriage
My mom and dad were married in 1966. My dad was a true optimist. He believed he would live to 120 years and die making love with my mom. If cancer did not take him he might just have pulled it off.
He did not believe in “until death do you part”. He argued he could not make plans or envision commitment for more than 5 years at a time. As a result, my mom and dad exchanged vows, rings and married again and again every 5 years.
As the oldest of their 10 children, I have witnessed and celebrated 14 of my parents 15 love ceremonies. My dad was unique in his ability to live in and seize each moment. While he could not see beyond his five years he had the good sense to choose my mom each and every day.
Tanya’s Tips: If choosing to balance life with a partner, married or not, show up with love, kindness and kisses. Spend time and savor each moment and YES choose each other again and again each and every day.
Just had to give you more cause who doesn't Love Love?
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